Jag är liten. Hela mitt liv har folk sagt att "elle fait jeune". Senast i torsdags trodde tre småtjejer att jag gick i deras skola, på fullaste allvar. Hur ska man då kunna vikariera med pondus?
Sen helt plötsligt, kommer tre stora hotfulla vakter och säger att jag ser gammal ut. Men jag är ju liten, ingen pondus, vågar inte säga emot.
Och där rök reskassan till Frankriket.
Jag har inga pengar. Jag ser gammal ut. Eller bara vuxen, som jag är(?).
Ska jag skratta eller gråta?
Tuesday, January 30
Sunday, January 28
button families
I haven't created anything for so long that I almost forgot how good it makes me feel. An upcoming deadline, for the Button up swap at ATCards.com, reminded me.
I signed up for the swap cause I love buttons. Who doesn't? :)
I played around with them for almost an hour. I had several ideas, but then another (secret) project came in between.
This mess is still on my desk, except the ATC's, they're already on their way to England.
I really don't like glueing buttons to my cards. The holes are for sewing, no? I found theese beautiful silk threads, not quite what I had in my mind, but they worked.
I ended up making a family series. You can see each of them over at flickr.
I signed up for the swap cause I love buttons. Who doesn't? :)
I played around with them for almost an hour. I had several ideas, but then another (secret) project came in between.
This mess is still on my desk, except the ATC's, they're already on their way to England.
I really don't like glueing buttons to my cards. The holes are for sewing, no? I found theese beautiful silk threads, not quite what I had in my mind, but they worked.
I ended up making a family series. You can see each of them over at flickr.
Wednesday, January 24
resolution
January self-portrait challenge is New Year resolutions. The theme is interesting and challenging to capture, but I haven't participated as resolutions aren't really my thing. I did have one though, which I failed after only three days (I told you they aren't for me!).
I'm still working on it though, to write something (or at least glue in a fragment from my everyday life) in my journal everyday.
I have so many thoughts, so much angst. Totally confused, and lost. Before, I tried to live life as it came, day by day. Now it feels like I'm struggling with every single hour. Spending 30 minutes on dragging some of the thoughts that are hunting me out of my brain and putting it onto a paper seems like a good idea...
I'm still working on it though, to write something (or at least glue in a fragment from my everyday life) in my journal everyday.
I have so many thoughts, so much angst. Totally confused, and lost. Before, I tried to live life as it came, day by day. Now it feels like I'm struggling with every single hour. Spending 30 minutes on dragging some of the thoughts that are hunting me out of my brain and putting it onto a paper seems like a good idea...
Thursday, January 18
lätta på trycket
(easing the pressure?)
4 am this morning, finishing the essays for my "examination portfolio"
It's interesting, the way everything changes when you don't sleep. The way I experience the world, and my own body. Some impressions grow stronger, others tend to dissappear. Not hungry, thirsty or sleepy. Kind of focused, but at the same time my mind is floating around elsewhere.
Discovering that I think much slower. I have problems with remembering stuff - everyday routines, like knowing on which platform I should catch my train. It makes everyday life more exciting, not so predictable. But I think I'll let my brain rest tonight.
I'm just so relieved that I finished this course. It felt like I never would, that these four days would last forever.
Tomorrow I'm going to talk for 2 minutes about the problems of seeing power just in terms of representation, and equality in numbers. I can do that presentation, and then leave all this behind.
Unfortunately, on the next course they're going to read all the books I wanted to read this autumn (that weren't on the list). Judith Butler, QueerSverige, Gemzöe... But I don't think that's for me, not right now. I can read them anyway, all by myself. I'm not that stupid, am I?
Took a walk Tuesday. Crying, overwhelmed by the pressure from the writing, the future, the past... Then I saw this, definitely the best piece of street art of the week.
(Now.)
The only thing I should worry about, live in, and focus on. Now.
The beauty of the bare trees against the dusk.
The high water level (the poor buoy is drowning) after Pär (I can't believe that we call storms Pär and Gudrun - it's sounds so casual and nice, like an oncle and an aunt)
Crows in the tree.
Memories from the past, rising to the present.
Something to see in the (near?) future...
This is the best photo of the week, or month. Mathias took it (and the nostalgic one as well).
4 am this morning, finishing the essays for my "examination portfolio"
It's interesting, the way everything changes when you don't sleep. The way I experience the world, and my own body. Some impressions grow stronger, others tend to dissappear. Not hungry, thirsty or sleepy. Kind of focused, but at the same time my mind is floating around elsewhere.
Discovering that I think much slower. I have problems with remembering stuff - everyday routines, like knowing on which platform I should catch my train. It makes everyday life more exciting, not so predictable. But I think I'll let my brain rest tonight.
I'm just so relieved that I finished this course. It felt like I never would, that these four days would last forever.
Tomorrow I'm going to talk for 2 minutes about the problems of seeing power just in terms of representation, and equality in numbers. I can do that presentation, and then leave all this behind.
Unfortunately, on the next course they're going to read all the books I wanted to read this autumn (that weren't on the list). Judith Butler, QueerSverige, Gemzöe... But I don't think that's for me, not right now. I can read them anyway, all by myself. I'm not that stupid, am I?
Took a walk Tuesday. Crying, overwhelmed by the pressure from the writing, the future, the past... Then I saw this, definitely the best piece of street art of the week.
(Now.)
The only thing I should worry about, live in, and focus on. Now.
The beauty of the bare trees against the dusk.
The high water level (the poor buoy is drowning) after Pär (I can't believe that we call storms Pär and Gudrun - it's sounds so casual and nice, like an oncle and an aunt)
Crows in the tree.
Memories from the past, rising to the present.
Something to see in the (near?) future...
This is the best photo of the week, or month. Mathias took it (and the nostalgic one as well).
Saturday, January 13
the art of doing nothing
(or not writing one's examination portfolio)
I've never had a writer's block like this. Total anti-motivation. Don't know what to do. Panic sounds like a good idea... The whole thing is supposed to be handed in on Thursday. And after that I have no idea of what to do.
I don't even know what I should panic the most about. Not knowing what to do in four days, or only having four days to finish my reading and writing? I have to choose one thing to focus all my angst on. Ångestångestångest...
Get me away from here, I'm dying!
Wearing my petticoat (how cute that sounds)
Hungry... What if there will be a chocolate cake waiting for me if I open the fridge one more time?
Ceiling... I love that seagull.
Taking another look at the sky. In the morning it was bright blue with small cotton candy clouds. Like in a fairy tale.
So bored... Taught my mobile to stand up on its own...
Rulla tummarna...
Lillasyster helps me with the writing (prutt = fart)
Then I gave up, decided that trying anymore was useless and took a walk with mum instead, and had fika with Micaela. Saw some inspiring things...
Think, it ain't illegal yet.
Lots of stickers on Götgatan.
A very handsome angel in a shop window in Sofo.
Now I'm still not writing. Listening to Over & Over with Hot Chip again and again (that sounds silly, sorry). Considering my options...
Are there really any options? I WILL write this thing and hand it in, no matter how crappy. Then what? Take the gender studies B course (not a good idea considering the anti-motivation that I'm suffering from)? Go to France? Get a job, probably in a kindergarten in the middle of nowhere?
I've never had a writer's block like this. Total anti-motivation. Don't know what to do. Panic sounds like a good idea... The whole thing is supposed to be handed in on Thursday. And after that I have no idea of what to do.
I don't even know what I should panic the most about. Not knowing what to do in four days, or only having four days to finish my reading and writing? I have to choose one thing to focus all my angst on. Ångestångestångest...
Get me away from here, I'm dying!
Wearing my petticoat (how cute that sounds)
Hungry... What if there will be a chocolate cake waiting for me if I open the fridge one more time?
Ceiling... I love that seagull.
Taking another look at the sky. In the morning it was bright blue with small cotton candy clouds. Like in a fairy tale.
So bored... Taught my mobile to stand up on its own...
Rulla tummarna...
Lillasyster helps me with the writing (prutt = fart)
Then I gave up, decided that trying anymore was useless and took a walk with mum instead, and had fika with Micaela. Saw some inspiring things...
Think, it ain't illegal yet.
Lots of stickers on Götgatan.
A very handsome angel in a shop window in Sofo.
Now I'm still not writing. Listening to Over & Over with Hot Chip again and again (that sounds silly, sorry). Considering my options...
Are there really any options? I WILL write this thing and hand it in, no matter how crappy. Then what? Take the gender studies B course (not a good idea considering the anti-motivation that I'm suffering from)? Go to France? Get a job, probably in a kindergarten in the middle of nowhere?
Monday, January 1
2007
Woke up today and felt good (the absence of a hangover can really save a day). I walked Molly home over Årstabron (Årsta bridge). The weather was nice, kind of grey, some sun, some drizzle. And a fresh wind blowing the old out, and the new in. I brought the camera, but I'm not sure I captured the feeling.
the rails
still love these, in all weathers.
leftovers from a party that I didn't miss
I love this bird, drawn on a wooden board (over some ugly tags)
some real crows in a tree
I realised that I can see the cars driving onto Västerbron (Western bridge, my favourite - wouldn't it be for Årstabron; the old and the new)
and this (Pinnen, and further away a church, it might be Katarinakyrkan)
Discovering new perspectives, new ways of seeing and thinking of things...
I liked 2006, lots of good things happened (turning 20, graduation, Colombia, Paris x2, London, gender studies, feminism, meeting new persons, learning, thinking, crafting...). I've been reading lots of lists, and sometimes I feel like making a few myself - for the future and for the past. But I'm not sure that's what I should do, maybe I should try to live life instead of thinking about it.
I'm excited and a bit nervous about 2007. I haven't bought a new (Moleskine) calendar yet. Which is quite ok, as this year is quite blank. I don't know what I'll be doing in less than a month. Study? Gender studies or French? Will I get a job? Will I see the places I want to visit, see the people I want to see?
On verra bien...
the rails
still love these, in all weathers.
leftovers from a party that I didn't miss
I love this bird, drawn on a wooden board (over some ugly tags)
some real crows in a tree
I realised that I can see the cars driving onto Västerbron (Western bridge, my favourite - wouldn't it be for Årstabron; the old and the new)
and this (Pinnen, and further away a church, it might be Katarinakyrkan)
Discovering new perspectives, new ways of seeing and thinking of things...
I liked 2006, lots of good things happened (turning 20, graduation, Colombia, Paris x2, London, gender studies, feminism, meeting new persons, learning, thinking, crafting...). I've been reading lots of lists, and sometimes I feel like making a few myself - for the future and for the past. But I'm not sure that's what I should do, maybe I should try to live life instead of thinking about it.
I'm excited and a bit nervous about 2007. I haven't bought a new (Moleskine) calendar yet. Which is quite ok, as this year is quite blank. I don't know what I'll be doing in less than a month. Study? Gender studies or French? Will I get a job? Will I see the places I want to visit, see the people I want to see?
On verra bien...
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